J3B, Mach, Eric, Cadet and all of the other posters that have been posting to you came along after I was here for a while. I can honestly say that they all have grown by leaps and bounds. Why? Because they posted, they listened (at times didn't want to hear what was said), they did the hard, necessary work to work on themselves. It took a while because we all come here trying to find the magic potion to bring our spouses back...but at the end of the day, we come to realize that we can only work on ourselves. We finally figure out that some of us are controllers, co-dependents, etc., and the biggest culprit...we are fixers. We want to fix our spouses. Unfortunately, we can't.
Take time and truly listen to what the posters are saying. If it helps, print off the postings and read and re-read them again and again. Make your journey about YOU! I know you can do it! Leave your wife to her own journey and if she hits the brick wall a thousand times over, don't rescue her. She needs to learn the lessons w/o your help.
Hang in there!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
