I'm glad you advised your h that your son was ill. Is it true that you h has no way of contacting you if an emergency arises? If that is so, then you need to set up a separate email account to allow him to notify you IF your children have emergencies while in his care.
Yes, we all have been tempted one time or another to want to shake them until their heads rolled...but it will do no good at this time. The only thing you can do is continue moving forward, i.e., taking care of you, your children, home and finances. Him? Well, he's still out to lunch for a good while and nothing will snap him out of it until he's ready to face his issues, which it appears he's not ready yet.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
