Confused on What to Do

[CT1118]

Eagle11,

J3B pointed me to your thread a few days ago. I just finished reading it. While our sitch's do not have much in common, our W's seem to.

I think this was the most awesome thing I read:

I wanted to tell her that it was great she got a tattoo with her kids name on it but it would have been better if she actually showed them how much she loved them by being present. Anybody can get a tattoo, but it takes effort to be a good parent.

Awesome because it sums up perfectly how the parent caring for the kids feels about the spouse ignoring their role. I was abandoned w/ my son for pretty much two months until we went S.


[quote=Eagle11] I have some money saved that she doesn't know about. My parents actually have it and it would be enough to get me started. [quote]

Seriously, do not say things like this here. Or anywhere. Ever again forever, just don't. This place is public. I hope why is immediately apparent by the moment you finish this sentence.

Your snooping stuff, I mean I did it. Don't feel too bad about it. It can become compulsive though which is the problem. As well, if you struggle w/ seeing & knowing things then it will be tough for you. Its really not healthy. I will say it did help me realize what a complete douchebag her OM was when I looked him up on FB. I mean I struggled to understand that, I really did. But mostly I was angry about her lies, not him. But the OM is usually way below your pay grade man - normal script.

Last, people put stuff about detaching above. Good luck. I read it all when I first got here...and you SHOULD do that. But for me, it just came on its own; as in I knew it existed but it wasn't something I could be taught, it was something which arrived thru process.

Glad you are in an IC my man....huge help for you. Huge GAL. Big step. Keep it up.