I struggled with the very same exact thing for months after Ms. Wonka left the marital house. It is as if a voice inside our heads is telling us, "what a loser, you couldn't keep W! what's wrong with you?"
Yeah, those nasty voices are not good at all. Try to find a way to engage in self-care activities and surround yourself with friends. Call one of them if not able to meet in person.
How do you get out of it...? All I can think of is how great of a life W leads without me know.
That nasty and pesky mind-reading buddy rearin' its ugly head. During that stage, I worked really hard on thought stopping, re-directing my energy, and GALing. It is no good to sit on the couch doing naval gazing about W and the OW.
What a total waste of mental energy. I refused to allow OW to occupy space in my head rent-free. F@ck that! It was a mental effort to channel my focus elsewhere.
I have read many, many success stories when the WAS report back to the LBS after reconciling that they were really unhappy and miserable with the OW/OM. It was hard for them to climb back down from that wall after PROCLAIMING to all that they are "much happier" with the OW/OM. It is as if they said it out loud, therefore it must be 'true.'
This is why TIME is your friend. Use it or lose it. Meaning, use that valuable time you have to transform you into a very strong and interesting person while the OW is busy chasing some elusive fairy tale wisp "out there".
What are you going to do about YOU? That is the only thing you can control here. Not the Easter Bunny, not Father Christmas, not the Tooth Fairy.
