Detachment and the end of limbo, sort of...too

[Phoebe]

So my sleep schedule is officially derailed again. I didn't even bother going to bed until 5:30 this morning because I simply wasn't feeling tired, then I woke up 2 hours later, was able to fall back asleep and slept until 10:15-ish. Yet two nights ago I slept 1:30-9:30, which was great. I'm not exhausted and laying there fitfully, as I was previously when I wasn't sleeping well. I'm just strangely awake.

Honestly, i have been more out of sorts since realizing WH was part of the tag team that served me. Knowing he was here, drove over 10 hours to direct the action, and didn't acknowledge me in the slightest just bothers me. So callous and creepy and indifferent. Plus, I simply can't escape the subject of my MR when I have to keep working on my legal morass. Last night after dinner l/friend read through one of my latest 3 legal docs. They're long and fussy and every word matters and reminds me of WH and our M. I'm just not getting as much time 'off' from the subect, and so it's starting to weigh on me more again. Plus, I'm feeling guilty that the best legal counsel I have is the only one that's not being paid. Just watching him proofread my affirmation yesterday, marking it all up with pencil to fine-tune the wording just reminded me how much help he has given me.

I need to go make all the changes he suggested and send it to my local L today. Then two more long documents to go, including going over the dreaded financial document with a fine tooth comb yet again. A mere 27 pages of lovely reminders...

It comes and goes, but the human fountain routine has been more active lately, whereas it was on hiatus for weeks before service day. I cried twice yesterday, and probably the day before, too.

Time for me to get back to work. I wish everyone, and especially dear SH, a lovely day today. May it bring healing to us all.