I totally understand your confusion regarding H because it is all new
They totally change during the crises and as it progresses, some get worse in replay They forget or possibly don't see the responsibility about money and kids as they used to Many go in debt, take up with a younger OW or older OW Usually they affair DOWN…their current partner may have addiction issues, control issues, psych issues
some lose jobs..many of them seem to leave decent homes , financial security and stable environments to live on the Wild side for a while
His mother and family also probably are in denial or can't fully see the crises the way we do- as we are learning and reading and we see it..others may not
people that move a lot, that can be an addiction also They are trying to find anyway possible to Feel Good as much as possible
MY XH also said His new girl made him feel good and she treated him as equal-- Fast forward many years read my current thread, and you will see where my XH is NOW
You are doing well Put your focus on your well being take the best care of you and kids as possible work on forgiveness--takes time I promise you the LBS always comes out better and stronger and lands on their feet, while the MLCer sometimes does and most often NOT
hang in it gets easier with each passing day until it no longer effects you at all peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Not back at work yet rouky. Monday is first day back.
Spoke to h last night because our son had been ill and was telling him what the problem was.
He's such a dufus. I emailed him to tell him son was ill he said he'd emailed me back ( he hadn't) . Was moaning that he had no way of contacting me if needed, I told him he had no need to contact me as I didn't want to speak to him.
He's moving again this weekend. What is he doing!! He's lost his mind. What is he thinking carrying on with this ow, playing house....because he was unhappy. He seems to have forgotten he has a family, 2 kids........ He is acting like a child..... He even told our son that he'd maybe buy a house in 3 years or so....how.
I've survived the summer holidays but I really want to shake him and say what are you doing you stupid man. Get your backside home and beg for forgiveness.
Or maybe it is all true, he doesn't love me ...but then I think what the hell does that mean anyway.
Mia I'm at similar state, I also want to grab H by the shoulders and shake him until he wakes up or gets out of his fog. However I know that is impossible, so I'm trying to be in control of what I can change, myself. I know I'm not responsible for his unhappiness or MLC, but I understand that my biggest mistake was to assume he was happy all this time. I don't think there is much I can do to change the situation so I'm making myself better. I'm better than the OW (he is having an EA with a friend of mine) and I hope that one day he will see that. If not that's his loss, and I'll have to deal with that.
Sorry for the rumbling, I guess all I'm trying to say is to try not to worry about what he does, and concentrate on yourself and your children. Really gloats to do but more constructive than wasting energy on the alien that took over your H's body.
"There's nothing sadder than a conman conning himself"
“There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask "What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, What if you fly?”
I'm glad you advised your h that your son was ill. Is it true that you h has no way of contacting you if an emergency arises? If that is so, then you need to set up a separate email account to allow him to notify you IF your children have emergencies while in his care.
Yes, we all have been tempted one time or another to want to shake them until their heads rolled...but it will do no good at this time. The only thing you can do is continue moving forward, i.e., taking care of you, your children, home and finances. Him? Well, he's still out to lunch for a good while and nothing will snap him out of it until he's ready to face his issues, which it appears he's not ready yet.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi esame, I was talking to a male friend today and it was interesting to get a male view.
He basically said h was having a midlife crisis, is behaving like an idiot, the chances of him being happy was highly unlikely but he'd tell people he was.... He also said I should meet with him and tell him that despite what he'd done if he wants to come back he can and we can work this out but it has to be now. He said I should say you've had your year of messing about now time to remember you have responsibilities.
I said I couldn't do that.....I don't know. I'm just tired of this
If he's in MLC, he's not going to listen to you. In fact, he'll be more determined to stay out on the streets. Your friend doesn't understand MLC. He means well...
Leave the door ajar if you wish. But remember, actions speak louder than words.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Job , if he has the kids both of them have mobiles and my number is on their phones. As well as that he knows the landline number. When I said that he moaned ' but u said not to call u on that' and I said ' no I said don't leave messages on the landline when ur doing your regular ( intrusive) 7 o'clock to the kids if they don't answer their mobile phones'
He just says he's done/ hasn't done something when the opposite is obviously true. He's turned into a nut job
