So thing are going ok, I'm 99% W is committed to R she has not baulk on anything I have asked her to do!
Issues I have:
1) Do I need all the details regards when are we're the had sex? Is this making things better or worse.
2) I have a lot of angry which can lead to negative comments to W, how should I deal with this?
3) Trust, can I live with the knowledge this can happen again in 2, 5, 10 years!
4) How do I not look at my beautiful W and not think of her as tainted!
My heart breaks everyday!
1. Nope, bad idea.. Your imagination runs wild, but you know that it's likely not right, facts are harder to shake.
2. It's anger causing those comments, it's hard to lose the anger, but you need to get past the anger and find forgiveness, only then will you find peace and be able to be happy with yourself and W. That should be focus with IC, you need to forgive her, you have to for your own sake. You need to do that first.
3. Instead of asking W about your question #1, ask about why she did what she did, how it made her feel when she was doing it, how does she feel about it now, what she would do now if she started feeling lonely again, etc.. Then decide if your willing to be fully involved with your W and M, some of the best Marriages around are post A M, because they recognize the importance of the emotional bonding and communication. Remember, no guarantee a new W wouldn't have an A either, so it's not like she's a risk of repeating but a new person wouldn't be, it's always a risk.
4. See answer 2, you must find forgiveness. You will always remember, you will always have a bit of pain from the memory, but it will become less pain, and a great M will overshadow bad memories.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
