Albac - 7 months in. Life goes on.

[albac]

Thanks for stopping by RSG,

I don't know where to start with what I'm doing at the moment. I started seeing a psychologist a few weeks ago. I was not sure at first but it's ok so I will keep going for a while. He is telling me I need to confront my W and ask what she really wants. This goes against what I have been doing so I'm not sure yet.

I am in a much better place then I was a month ago but it's up and down. I have moments of clarity where I truly believe she is out of control and I am better off this way and other times I would do anything to have her back. The human brain is a real piece of work.

Now as for my W and our R. I have absoloutely no idea what she thinks and I don't think she does either. I think her ideas of what is normal are so far of grid it's scary. So to be able to answer weather I think she talks to me as a friend or if it is progress is to hard to answer. It's possible that what I think seems like progress is her version of a friend. It's hard to explain but her ideas of what are exeptable things are crazy.

many examples I have been through already but the same day she was giving me a leg massage this week she took her pants off and showed me a tattoo she got on her upper thigh which was fine but it's hard to have your W standing there with no pants on I can tell you. Then half an hour asks me to go on a trip to Europe with her and my D2 like it's totally normal and couldn't understand why I said No and that's it's not normal. Her defense was but we are a "family" I said no we are not. She replied "you and I arnt a family anymore but we are both her family"

Just one example but I think my W idea of life now is that her and I are friends but the kind of friends somewhere between what most people would call a friendship and a relationship.

So the question I need to answer is do I continue things as they are trying to have minimal contact but play nice and spend little bits of time with both my W and my D or do I totally shut it down. I am almost 8 months in and i have more questions now then answers. I think my W is keeping me close as a support and backup if things go wrong for her. She has started seeing this OM and started a new University course I think I am the backup if it all falls apart which on her previous form is a certainty.

Anyway I think that gives an idea of where I am regarding W. As for me I'm pushing forward, I'm as fit as ever and starting to get some attention from other women although I feel absoloutely no interest in pursuing any of it at this time. I'm tying to get out as much as I can starting new sports and new GAL activities without hitting bar scenes or any of that.