MLC, WAW or WW?? Who really knows? Help...pls

[ROE]

Job, thank you for posting on my thread. I have followed you as well. Thank you!

Death of a M & R is brutal on everyone involved. I am saddened that our children will are/will be the next to suffer the loss of their world as they knew it. Our family was a very close family. We did everything together and we all enjoy life. I really can't put a finger on what specifically happened that deteriorated our M. But I do know that I have invested much of my own damage to our situation. I used to take the blame for everything early on. Since this was how the message was delivered to me. But I have come to learn and realize that I only own 1/2 of the story. The other 1/2 belongs to W. I won't hide behind that truth because my 1/2 of the contribution was the reason W's heart hardened and it forced her to become wayward or helped trigger MLC or why she will soon become WAW. That is mine to own and change the way I lived in my 1st M. Truly if I do not then it is not this D I must be concerned with because there will be another one coming.

I have dug deep into my conscience self and have found traits that I honestly do not like. Like pride. Pride can be good but too much and if it gets in the way only causes harm to ourselves and those around us. Jealousy, I'm not normally a jealous person but it has consumed me within the past year and has impacted my reaction toward my W. Not good and certainly unattractive. Those are just 2 for now that I am working on. I have more issues of my own to work through and I'm getting through them in my own time. I can't force a change in myself but I can accept that I need to change. That is the 1st step. Maybe with a completion of all the needed change I must make will also bring me closure.

Job, I too will walk away from all of this knowing that I did everything in my own power and ability to save the M or to draw my W back to our MR. Sadly I humbly can see that my changing is as W puts it "too little and too late" to salvage our M today. But it's everything and enough to move forward and start the next chapter in my life. That I think is when and how I will find closure.

ROE