Welcome to the MLC Forum. You will meet wonderful posters who will come along and post advice, pearls of wisdom, etc. It will be up to you to read the postings and determine what is good for you and ignore the rest.
Can you give us more info about you and your h? Did something happen in the last 18-24 months that may have triggered the changes in him?
Oh, he's one of those...edge of bed huggers. Some of them do this because they don't want to be close to us, nor have us touch them. They feel guilt and shame for what they are thinking and possibly doing. We tend to call these kind of actions "we've got the cooties" because of the way they flinch or avoid all contact w/us.
As far as intercourse is concerned...that's up to you. However, you may want to think about getting a STD test done at some point. Not, saying he's been out there doing the naughty, but you never know.
As for leaving any time...no knows if he'll do it, but he's thinking about it. Sometimes they say these things to get us off their backs.
As for being interested in doing repairs around the home...that interest is gone. When MLC hits, the depression takes over and their interests in everything pre-crisis tends to go out the window until much later in time.
Marye, I don't like being the one to say this...but if this is MLC, he's got a long road ahead of him. It could takes many years for him to come back to his senses and some stay stuck.
You can be there to listen, affirm and validate, but do not pretzel yourself to please him. Why? Because no matter what you try to do to please him, he will always find something else to complain about.
For now, keep the focus on you. Try to find things to help you stay busy. I know this is worrying you...but you need to find a way to protect yourself financially. If you have a joint account, move some money over into a new account in only your name. Get your name off the joint account at some point, as well as any and all joint charge cards will need to be watched closely. Why? Because, if he follows the MLC train, he'll be spending a whole lot of money on himself. He has aleady begun to sing the "me, me, me" song.
Keep posting and definitely continue to ask questions.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
