Lost at the moment (2)

[Coconut]

3) I'm happy with where I am right now. I've finally started to find the person I should have been all along, and feel that I'm going to lose some of that if we were to decide to try and reconcile, fall into old habits, etc. Similar to the addiction that our spouses are in, I feel I've been "addicted" to the behaviors that contributed to us getting to this point, and returning to the thing that is the source of that addiction would be a bad thing in the end.

Are you familiar with the expression "No matter where you go, there you are?". Your habits had nothing to do with your wife, and aren't going to go away just because you go somewhere else. Your habits and actions are in you, so no matter where you go, they will be there unless you change them. I completely agree that some habits are hard to break, I struggle with that myself. But I don't think it has anything to do with who's around me, I believe it has to do with my drive, emotional well being, excitement of life, etc..

I want to be clear, I'm not arguing your points or telling you what you should do, just trying to point out some things I have learned (and am learning) along this path, it's the main reason I still come on this site, to share my experiences to help others.