I am so sorry about the pain you are feeling. I wish I knew how to help you through this. The others on the board who are going through similar situations may be able to give you the support you need today. Sometimes, reading other threads and seeing how they cope with their stitch gives strength. But, if you think it would be more depressing, maybe not.

You deserve to be happy. Not all women are selfish, betray their H, & damage their children's lives. There are still good people in this world. I really believe that with all my heart! I also believe there is no person that gets through life without experiencing pain. I've been told there is nothing worse than betrayal. I've also been told there is nothing worse than seeing one of your children die. I've experienced one of those pains. I don't tell you that for sympathy, just like you don't share your stitch for sympathy. I will simply share this thought.....you have to decide to go on and [u]live[/u], although you may not see how that's possible today. Yes, you grieve, you don't forget, and you may cry at times,...but you have to make yourself get up and face the day....even when you don't see the point in it.... and you push through it and seek the good things around you.....and if you don't see any.....go find it. At some point & time, you stop pushing through the day and start living through it. You must live your life, in spite of the pain you feel today.

((Roe))

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!