Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 4)

[JRuss]

FG -- going dim would be for me primarily. I'm way, way too attached, still, mainly because I share a house and the MBR, act like we're happy in front of the kids, still on occasion (though they are dwindling) sleep with my wife and, generally, play like I'm married except for this f-ed up elephant always standing there in the corner.

I need to see if I can do it. I focus on her issues a lot, but where do MY issues start? Can I even go dim at this point, or will I invent some stupid excuse to contact her? I want to see. She's told me she needs space that I can't usually give her because, unless I'm GALing, I'm at home trying to soak up as much kid time as I can before she blows it all up. Well, this is almost 2,000 miles of space for 4-5 days, and she'll have it if I can sack up and not be a girly man trying to call her and text her.

I guess it might help our overall sitch, but I'm not optimistic at this point. In fact, I think I'm in just about the same place you are in terms of long-term outlook, i.e., there isn't one at present. Detachment is a prerequisite to personal happiness, though, so baby steps.