Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 4)

[EDF]

I feel like the key point is that the wayward needs to realize you are not a permanent plan B, and hopefully feel your unavailability/loss.

Going dark/dim, not pursuing, detaching from the emotional rollercoaster, GAL, etc - all of those are tools that accomplish the above while also helping you get yourself sorted out.

WW will have zero chance to miss you if you're always there helping out or always in contact. WW is in a bad place emotionally and heaping the bulk of the blame for their woes on the LBS - while you stay present and in contact WW has no chance to realize that their life is still messed up even when you're not there, and maybe you're not really the cause of everything bad.

I would recommend staying polite/friendly (but end things first) if she contacts you, otherwise just stay in touch with your kids. Let your wife see the strong independent you, who will be fine without her.