Maybs - Pt3

[maybs]

so partially just journaling partially in response to Hawker,

My BIL stayed with me last night before his bike trip. I have no intentions of bringing up W to him since he is her brother and I felt that would make it uncomfortable.

As soon as he got there he asked me if there was any chance of us reconciling. I didn't go into details I just said I was willing but he would have to talk to her about it.

He proceeded to tell me that not a single one of her family members is currently speaking to her and she makes no effort to speak or see any of them. I do find this curious because supposedly one of the reasons she's so happy she moved back to her hometown is she can see her family all the time (which she says I restricted her from doing) ironically, I see and speak to her family more frequently than she does. I was told she hasn't seen any of them since mid-July.

He also told me that he doesn't agree with her decision to leave me and he doesn't agree with her having this ow.

He also continuously told me that I should just cut ties and move on and "there's other fish in the sea".

He complained that she has been using FIL as a bank. Basically dumps our dog with him and has him finance weekend getaways with ow on his credit card. Which upsets me not because they take trips. I'm upset that she would use her own father like that. I have struggled financially through this and have made responsible adult choices to cut expenses to be able to afford the things that I want, I don't just run to daddy for money everytime I want something, and seeing that kind of behavior from a 31 yr old grown a55 woman with a good paying job...it's kind of disgusting.

I get why he tells me to move on. I know he cares for me and he will always tell me he doesn't like what W is putting me through, but I wish he would respect that I don't want to cut tie and just move on. I put a lot of time and effort into this relationship and on many levels I think if we were both willing to work at it, it would be successful again.

he also asked me about if she's being amicable with splitting everything up and I just told him we are seeing a mediator to deal with that.

Overall, it was super awkward and uncomfortable. Mostly because I was trying to not say anything specific about how I felt about her or the way she's been acting. I respected his need to vent his frustrations about his sister but I just listened and even caught myself validating without thinking about it!

I feel like so much "stuff" happened yesterday and I do find it quite interesting that I feel pretty unbothered by it all. I feel calm again.