MLC, WAW or WW?? Who really knows? Help...pls

[sandi2]

So, how do I read her current actions? One minute she openly defies and disrespects with her interactions w/OM then later in the day she will go out of her way to make sure I know her meeting him was platonic and strictly innocent. Even after I show that "I don't care" she continues to want me to hear her. She also has treated me nicer at home than she has in a long time. Maybe these are no more than her trying to keep the peace and be civil, again I really don't know?? ((Shrug))

This behavior of defiance, is your W's way of testing your reaction. You know the scenario of the schoolyard bully who will taunt you to see how you will react? At first, you may try to ignore the bully's taunting. The bully doesn't stop. Instead the taunting increases. The bully is daring you (sometimes in front of other people) to see what you will do about it. How will you react?

If you try to ignore your W's communication with OM, then she increases the dare by telling you what they are doing. It as if saying, "What'cha gonna do about it? You gonna run away and cry? Go tell your mamma?". .

Then, she switches to some other tactic to see what type of reaction she gets from it. You want to know how to read her? This is your W taunting you, to see how you will react. How far can she go..........how much will you take........

Of course I can't see or hear her, except through you. The level of anger, coldness, and meanness toward the H depends on the individual woman. Some women are very vindictive. Others want to keep one foot in the M and one foot in the single life. It all goes back to the root of resentment & disrespect. One thing I have noticed over the years is how the wayward does not seem to have the pain that a WAW does. The WAW left the M, due to legitimate reasons. The WAW's action is not based on her own selfish desires.......like the WW is known to do. The Wayward has turned her feelings for the H into vile contempt. The MLC W is another issue all together, usually coming from depression, unresolved childhood issues, trumatized experiences, tragedy, fear, etc. The outward behavior may resemble the WW a lot, but IMHO, it is what gave birth to these drastic behavior changes. What has been in the heart of that woman that grew so big, it had to come out. Maybe she hid her deepest issues/feelings for years, and then.......she begins to act as if she were a different woman.