Yup, it stands for Rising Above It - V

[SH_]

I saw this on ATPeace's thread from Sandi. What is not clear to me is whether Sandi felt this way while she was still wayward or only once she had started to return from her waywardness. I suppose it does not make a huge difference anymore, but I often wonder if my WW feels this way. She gives no indication that she does, but it would at least make it easier for me to pity her if I knew that she actually has a conscience that is bothering her. Sandi, I don't know if you'll see this, but if you can weigh in that would be appreciated. Any other DBers have any thoughts about this?

RAI,

I thought I would weigh in on this as I saw you had posted over on our friend Ghosts thread.

I would say you answered your own question in that it really does not make a difference when she felt that way as it is not for h or anyone else. It was for her. If I might take the liberty for speaking for sandi, her point was that she had to forgive herself for what she did. Forgiveness of herself, was/is for herself. Not her H, nor anyone else. The advice was to lame a point for Ghost as there is a struggle to forgive oneself and stay stranded.

My question to you is, why do you think that you would need to "pity" your W under any circumstance? Pity does not seem to be a good place to go or want to go. What value does that hold for you, her, or any relationship that you may have down the road.

I would caution you with this path of thought as it appears overly focused on your ww and assumptions of what she thinks, feels or does, with the goal to make you feel better about something.
I would say that in the place of trying to determine if she has a "conscience", you may choose to honor her struggle, regardless of anything she thinks or feels, while you maintain focus on you and your path forward to being the RAI only a fool would leave.

Just my 2c.

Be well this evening and feel the peace that a focused mind has when love is the choice, and living in the moment is the action.