MLC, WAW or WW?? Who really knows? Help...pls

[ROE]

W is a great mom. Always has been. In fact she has a huge heart for children period. The irony is that the OM plays this card all the time. It is how I am able to decipher what may be happening in their R. It seems like when W is more attentive to me, he contacts her for a play date between my youngest daughter and his youngest son. W always allows it. Then pics show up on fb about the play date. He takes her to special places and dines her at special restaurants. Even at one point when I'm certain that W told him to not contact her so much (W) he actually contacted my 11 yr old daughter directly to see about her hanging out with him for the day. This happened w/o wife's knowledge or so she claimed. Ironically this was the next morning after my W's childhood BF called him out in person and in front of W on his friendship w/W and his intentions. There was a huge falling out that night between W & myself over that. W made threats to go to him that same night but didn't. Instead chose to come home and apologize to me. Anyway that bold sob contacted my D11 and W agreed to it by saying it wasn't fair to D11 that she should suffer for our problems. Keep in mind his son is 7 and my D11 really does not play with him. But W / OM play the "they are best friends" card. I call BS! And I've said before. Anyway I'm venting again. Point they play that card then the whole thing starts all over again. That is how I can see the cycle of thief A. It repeats and is very predictable. The other part is my W also finds him handyman work fixing stuff for other people.

Long story short, she has always been very attentive to the kids and if anything has actually stepped it up a notch. I think for guilt of what she is about to do to them or maybe so they choose to be on her side? Again, I really don't know?? ((Shrug))

To be honest, I am detaching at an alarming rate now. What seemed to take forever is now happening at lightning speed, or at least it seems that way some days. Today being one. But tomorrow I will probably become a pathetic wad of mushy nice guy and enabler. This is for sure a roller coaster ride.

Also, I am desperately in need of the emotional connection with someone who will love me back. But the thought of acting on that emotional void repulses me. Because I feel that only feeds the justification that selfish and self centered people feel. I'm on the receiving end of the damage that causes so I'm anti R outside of primary R mode. I hope to stay that way too. Anyway, I'm rambling.

Sorry in the delay to respond. I was reading Sandi2's 2st thread. I was immersed in the reading. I will go back and read more.

Best, ROE