Cherry, h is filing. Working on me

[Cherry]

Thanks rouky, it was a relief for sure!
Coly, you're right. It was certain one of those moments that kinda wake you up and make me think "that's a real person in there". Sounds a bit stupid, but maybe I just don't believe my luck or maybe my focus has just been elsewhere. But while having that scan done- I didn't even really pay much attention to him. Whatever his thoughts or whatever, where exactly that. And the baby and just watching it intently was all that mattered to me.

SH, it was quite an awakener regarding fear. Realising that you know we really do cope with situations once we're in them. The fear is just irrational worry. I have a tendency to over think all of the what ifs. And the lady really spoke to me, the be the warrior not the worrier lady, and the fact that she conquers her fears by making a hobby out of one of her fears. And how she felt she had two personalities a confident work and then an introverted personal one. That spoke to me. I work in legal, I do many a presentation every day. I speak to the big bosses of a multinational company I work for, and I do it all without thinking twice. I come across as a strong confident business woman. But yet it's my attraction and addiction to one man that has me weak.

I am ready to do more homework!

Not seen h this evening, hasn't come home from work. And you know, tonight I'm feeling quite whatever. I'm not thinking where he is or what he is doing. No matter what I do or say he will walk his path. So in going to pick my sh!t up and get walking back along my own.

Yes I love him. Yes I would like him back. But not like this, I keep reminding myself of his current characteristics, the fact he doesn't respect me, doesn't cherish me. And his thoughts on family and his own child are not the marks of a good man in my eyes

[Surfer]

Cherry,

I like the be the warrior not the worrier thing.

I also like the idea of a list of 10 reasons you don't like you WS and 10 reasons you love your S. I am going to do mine this morning.

On a positive note, besides the great news re-your baby, he came to the scan. That's positive. Okay, said nothing, didn't take the picture. In fairness, I didn't take the picture either I photographed it and put it on my phone screen saver. I also left for work at the consultant but. Not saying much other than there are some pretty normal things that happened that day.

Also, I have been reading up on old threads about how affairs do often just fall away. They are built on fantasy so often and the grass is not greener. Be the light house makes sense in that case. No point in looking like someone they wouldn't want to spent time with etc.

On the car front, what do you have currently? We changed ours to get a 4 door and mor recently I changed again. WW just raided the bank and decided she needed her own car - but that the WS for you isn't it....

Surfer.

[JksD]

Hey,
Havent had time to catch up with you.

Nothing much to offer, just virtual support. Hang in there!

[Cherry]

Yeah I didn't mind the consultant part, I even told him he could go then. It was a lot of birth planning and waiting around. I guess a positive is he did go, miserable and saying nothing or not. He was there.

That's a good idea, I think I could easily produce that- and I think it helps. Im also trying to think of the d as just paperwork. That's all. And you're right, all I can be is the best me I can. So I'll have a good go at that and keeping me happy and healthy. Car wise, I've an Audi S3, fine at the moment, but a bit of a squeeze. H recently changed his to an Audi Q7 you know, a "family car" only he never takes any family out in it or our s. But like you say, that's the wayward for you. Plenty of space to carry his boys around!!

Thanks grl! I'm at work feeling a little less than glowing, but happily announcing my pregnancy and showing off my little bump! Keeping my head held high. Yes people may or may not know my personal life. But I've no shame.

[Surfer]

Suggest you get something with boot space. You don't want to go smaller than a Golf for defo. A4 might be good even a saloon S3. Astra might work at a squeeze - IMHO. Particularly when you have 2 lots of toys, sleeping things clothes, nappy bags/pull up bags. Sterilizer, etc - the list is endless x 2!!! We had a meganne. It just about worked for hols - if I am honest, that was because my W was a very careful, tight packer. Very good at it - but didn't half bang on about it.....

Surfer.

[Cherry]

I think the golf is similar to s3. I've debated a Q5, or a vw Tiguan. I'm not a big fan of vauxhalls tbh. The Kia Sportage is nice but I've no experience of driving Kia's. My audi's have always been super reliable, but I know they are part of Audi/skids/vw/seat.

I sound like quite the clarkson!!

Wrt being a good packer- that is never me. And leaving the house with baby/toddler, you have to be equipped for everything. I'd like to try and wangle car allowance from my job- but that would mean going for promotion, and although I'm hella good at my job- when I'm going on maternity in the next 5 months or so- that's a no go

[Cherry]

Maybe I should downgrade wh to my s3 and take his q7!!

[Surfer]

Did think of that - bit vindictive though. Just get something big enough - second hand (2 yrs) and diesel. When it is looking like a skip inside and you are not on top of keeping it tidy (you wont be with 2, not all the time) it just becomes a cart horse for a while.

[Cherry]

There's the option of second hand but then it'll need it's mot and servicing and all that jazz. But you are so right on the cart horse. I have never known mess like what a toddler can make in a car! Used to be spotless!

[Phoebe]

I'm behind again, Cherry, but just wanted to send you some support on this fine day!

(((((CHerry)))))