Huddy, I think you are handling your situation well. It's tough when you have children that wish everyone was living under one roof again. Continue to listen and validate your children whenever possible.
As for the way your wife is dressing, they do become the mirror image (exact opposite) of the old self. So, if she didn't wear certain clothes or shoes previously, she'll most certainly do it now. She'll eventually ditched those shoes...but it may be a while before that happens. They have to experiment and try out new things because it's a distraction and a "change" for them. They want "change" because for a short period of time, the "changes" make them feel better. Eventually they may run out of things that make them feel better and then they will have time to focus on themselves.
Her tone of voice is also typical of a MLCer. I'm sorry she used that tone w/you. The "no emotion" is also typical of the MLCer. They have to remain cold and unemotional w/us because they don't want to feel anything for us. They use the anger and so called hatred to help them feel this way. Surely, if they thawed just a bit, they would begin to soften towards us and right now...they don't want that. They need to have some sort of justification for what they are doing, so that's us and the relationship...we must be the reason for them feeling so low and depressed. Nope...it's them, not us.
Huddy, continue to move forward. Keep the focus on you and your children. Do you have any hobbies or activities that you enjoy? Maybe a walk in the park, or a trip to the pub and meet up w/some friends...just get out and about when you have a moment. You need this down time to recharge your battery.
Take care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
