Keep Wearing Wedding Band? [Thread #3]

[CT1118]

FG - I am so glad you stuck your head in today. I was actually quite concerned given the nature of your last post before today, doubt I was the only one.

The ability to predict our own future has always been remarkable to me. We really do have choice in this life. For example, I speak to large groups, sometimes hundreds of people, and I do it regularly. I have done this for years. I rarely if ever plan what I will say beyond initial concepts. Sometimes I feel like I could do it blindly. But guess what, I still get nerves every single time. Not sure why, but it happens. Yet, once I begin, once I get moving, I feel as comfortable in front of all those people as if I were on my sofa alone in my boxers. Every time I somehow manage to make people laugh, make them think, and make them engage - all without much of a plan other than to succeed.

I backed off public speaking when the S happened. I felt like people would see through me. Then in June, I had a talk to give which I had agreed to a full year out. I was committed. I felt sick, worse than normal, but when I got up there it all came back. I remember looking over the audience and realizing how alive and in the moment I felt. It was pure inside me. I wondered to myself how I could keep that feeling, how could I get that around my family again. It has taken time and rest assured I am still working on it (as you know), but it is getting easier and that came from decision, in a moment of absolute clarity, to see myself as being and wanting to get better.

So that is my story, but I am sure you have something in your life like that. I know you love music, or assume it from the posts you have made (some really obscure too, but I am a musician and fan of it all myself). Maybe its music, maybe something else. Embrace it. In the moment of embrace, how does it feel. How can you hang on to that feeling in all things?

Unless you tell me you have a dck w/ a mustache on your forehead, a voice that is higher than a burning puppy squealing, and you naturally smell like a portable toilet in July, I will not believe you when you say that a broken family is your fate. Your fate is still being written and the pen is in your hand sir.