In the UK - PT20 - Moved here!

[Huddy]

W brought over the kids today for there tea. My S has autism and has been really anxious whilst he was here and asking for 'Mummy' a lot. It's beginning to bother me that he seems this way, but I can't say anything to W, as the words I would say would seem like pursuing. D told me that she had told W that she 'wished we all lived in the same house again' and that 'I wish you and Mummy would get married again'. It's hard to explain to a 6 year old about all this, so I just smile and nod and move the conversation on to something she's been doing.

I haven't really communicated with W. I suppose I'm stuck. When she did talk to me today, there is that slight edge of talking down her nose, so I just reply to her question in one word answers and then get back to the kids. W arrived in the same see through armed top, skinny jeans and high heels again, today. It's funny, but she would never wear high heels when with me as she said that they hurt; now, you just can't get her out of them.

It's difficult not to get despondent and think 'F*** It' and just move on. She shows no emotion at all, and as I don't see her every day, it's difficult to know where she is in the 'process'. I suppose, at the moment, W is still living in the glow of her operation. Great, it's removed the 'pouch' from her stomach, but who's looking at it? Maybe she's staring in the mirror every day. In the background, I think my SIL will still be stirring.

Yeah, so, just writing down the thoughts in my head. Disappointment (as always) when I see W, but I know that she will pull the cord one day to see the attachment. Have to got to be more convincing, I suppose.