Lost at the moment (2)

[Coconut]

Just my 2 cents, for you and for anyone else who is reading this...

I felt the same way when I finally decided I was done, I didn't care what she did (so I had convinced myself) and I had no feeling of needing to explain what I was doing, it was great I felt like I was living my life the way I wanted to...

Now about a month and a half later, I realized that this is where I needed to be when I was trying to save my M, that is what detaching and DB'ing is about. Now, while I don't ask where she is or what she's doing, I do still think about it. I notice when she's home or when she's not, I still try and figure out where she is, but it doesn't bother me.

I fully believe I'm on the path to D, but is it what I want? NOPE. If I could go back before things happened the way they did and pointed us towards D, I would of gotten like this earlier. Would it have changed things, possibly not, but I sure would like to go back and try and see...

If you and spouse aren't both set on D at this time (I don't know if you've talked to her about it), live like your getting divorced, mentally set yourself in the mode you would if you were getting D, go live your life, it may save your M.