Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 4)

[JRuss]

Surfer -- the flesh is willing, but, at times, the spirit gets weak. Thanks for the needed a$$ kicking.

Feeling a bit better this AM. W is very busy at work and overwhelmed with it all. It's at times like this that I see it isn't all about me -- or even maybe mostly about me -- but is instead about a severe displeasure with the life she has to live right now. I can't really do anything about it other than be present if she wants to vent and resist the urge to try to fix things. She's scapegoated me for a lot that's wrong with her life that I have nothing to do with. She'll keep doing that, and we'll be divorced eventually, or she'll have an awakening, and we won't. Just going to do what I can to be the best I can be.

I'm heading out of town Friday for a trip to Colorado with very old friends. Just guys. I'm really looking forward to it. It will also give me an opportunity to go a lot darker than I ever can when I'm at home living in the same house with my W. Any thoughts on how dark I should go? Maybe no texts or calls to W's cellphone? I do want to keep in touch with the kids while I'm gone but could do that entirely through my Ds cellphone if I wanted to. Could use some advice if anyone cares to weigh in.