Confused on What to Do

[Eagle11]

Jack_three_beans, thanks for responding again. I really appreciate the help. I will start looking for some hobbies. I really need something to get my mind off this. I told my wife when this all went down that she had it easier because she goes to work all day and has something to take her mind off this, but I am home with the kids. The kids of course remind me of her and what is going on. I unfortunately have spent a few afternoons lately pacing around the house and talking to myself. Basically, trying to come up with what I would say to her with what ever situation comes up. Sometimes I think I am going crazy.

One thing I did do was talk my son to joining the cub scouts. He is in 1st grade so I do everything with him. I got him to sign up not only for him but for me as well. I thought I could do something new with my son and meet some parents as well. This is a little out of my comfort zone because I grew up a city boy and never was into the outdoors too much. I also maybe did it a little to show my W that I am willing to branch out and do things she wouldn't normally expect. Tonight was our first meeting and he seemed to enjoy it.

Tonight when we got home my son was talking to her and I was sitting on the couch staring at her. She didn't look the same. I can't explain it but the woman sitting there was totally different than the woman that was there a month ago. Her body is different, but just the way she carries herself is different. This probably doesn't make sense, but she just had an edge about her that I didn't like. Then she started to talk about a show she was watching and it seemed like she almost wanted to talk to me like she used to but she couldn't do it anymore. Her voice was flat with no emotion. This probably doesn't make sense, but it was sad to me.