When she gets home from work I sometimes do take a walk, but the problem is she often doesn't get home until 7:30 - 8:00. By that time there is not much to do. I have thought about just going for a drive or something just to get out of the house and get some freedom and alone time. On the weekends we tend to alternate. Like this Saturday I went to the driving range and then when I got home she went to the gym. After she got home from the gym I went over to the rental house to clean that and was gone for 4 hours. Then we I got home she didn't hang out much and went to bed. This past weekend we didn't really spend anytime together. The previous weekend we actually went to our neighborhood pool as a family and had a normal time.
I do know the OM is just filling a hole in her life I guess right now. I honestly think she might be using him or they are using each other. She might be using him to stroke her ego and make her feel good about herself and he might be using her for sex. I don't think she loves him, I think he just makes her feel important. I could say the same things as he does and it wouldn't matter because I'm like damaged goods to her. At this point I would be shocked if this would turn into a long term relationship, but i was shocked she was in the relationship at all.
I have been reading these forums for a couple of weeks now and I read the DR so I am getting the idea that I can't do anything about it. It honestly doesn't make any sense but I have read enough posts by people who have been through this to believe that letting the affair run its course is the only way. I have actually not really pursued her. All I have asked is that when she feels she gets to know herself better that maybe we could give this another shot. I haven't really brought up the other man. I have acknowledged my issues and she knows I am working on them. We have had one fight about this and it was the first night, after I found out about the OM. We have talked about our issues about once a week. Last week I told her that even though I said I want to try again someday if she is up to it I can't guarantee that I would take her back. I told her it might not work for me.
M39, W36 T12, M10 S6,S2 Discovered EA 8/8 that started 7/31
