The Fight for Self II

[CT1118]

Had IC this morning. Went well. You know, the amount of people who have told me I was brave since the start of all this..."if I had a dollar" so to speak. I do appreciate it. Think of the fight or flight impulse. I have always been a fighter. Does not mean that I would always get into fights, but I always fought. And so I continue to fight.

Detachment, so many say they want to get here quick. I would propose that it cannot be quick if it is to be real, as well, some may arrive faster than others. Detachment also does not mean everyday is trouble free. This is where you fight. I was just stuck in traffic and caught myself wishing this whole MLC process would hurry up and fast forward itself. I had to abort that thought. Its not healthy. I do not want the WW on the other end of my phone. I want a new version of the woman I married. One who is ready to be with me and have a family. I don't need that, I want it.

Figuring out how to love while detached is its own challenge. I hope you get there, but it is not free of trouble.