Pink, Have you read the thread called the Dance of Pursuit and Distance? I think you need to read it. When you warm up to him and come closer, he then distances himself from you. When you distance yourself from him, he comes closer and the dance continues. Maybe it's time to stay the course and not react to anything he says or does.
What I sense from your postings is that he becomes friendly, says and does things that warm you up a bit. Then your expectations go in full gear and when he dumps the pail of water on your head, you get angry, upset and disappointed. In the future, if he warms up to you, then you continue as you would w/a long lost cousin. Don't react, no more relationship talks and continue as you have been. When he sees that you aren't reacting to his crazy making behavior, he just may start to realize that you are moving forward and he'll need to start thinking about what he needs to do to regain his trust. They need to work hard to regain your trust. If it's too easy, then they'll continue to say and do whatever. He has to earn your trust and respect.
Pink, re-read the threads I suggested, and yes, even the DB and DR books. We all have danced the Pursuit and Distance dance one time or another. Unfortunately, we don't realize what we've been doing until it's pointed out to us. Right now, you are the only one that can change your dance card.
Pink, I know you can do it!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
