Out of in house S - On My Own (11)

[vise82]

Hey,

Had a up and down weekend. Sat was soccer tournament for both boys, W ended up showing up and spent the day with us. It was not fun. She did not say a word to me, was on her phone most of the time. There was no interaction at all. No conversation, no moments, no looks, no smiles.

I have to say I am ready to move on. I am emotionally not connected to her as much as I think I was. I do not want her anymore. She had no effect on me and it just makes sense to move on.

I am not going to fear her now. I feel nothing for her. I want someone in my life that wants to be there. I have dropped the rope. I am going to push ahead now and not look back. Her loss.

There is no anger right now, there is nothing.

My love bank for her is empty and it took spending 8 hours with her with my boys at a soccer tournament to get to this point.

I don't know how I will feel later but for the past few days it is. This is the way I want it. It feels right. She is not worth it.

I know I have something better for me and to open the door to that I need to close this one. So its closed. I don't think I need to file for D. That is just a piece of paper and when the time comes when I need to file I will.

I want to put in the effort in improving my life and that includes having her out of it. Out of my thoughts, out of my choices, out of my priorities.

People talk about there is a moment where a switch is flipped and that has happened to me.