Pink, I'm so sorry you are hurting today. One thing you do need to do is to detach a bit more. When you and your xh are having conversations, etc., you are expecting him to be the same old person he once was. Pink, you and your xh have changed quite a bit since the split. Your expectations are setting you up for disappointment and yes anger.
The relationship conversations need to stop. Rehashing what was or happened in the past, for now need to remain in that box upon on a shelf in your closet. There will come a time when these discussions will take place...but now is not the time. Nothing ever gets resolved when they are taken out of the box and rehashed.
If the stuff in the garage is bugging you and creating more pain, then move the stuff to rental hold and set up the rental in his name, give him the key and advise him that he will be responsible or the rent on the place. At least it would be out of your garage and out of sight for you and you won't be throwing his stuff away. Just because they leave stuff w/us doesn't necessarily mean he's going come back and/or he wants the stuff. Has he made any effort to come get any of the stuff? Generally, they want new stuff because it's more fitting for the new and improved self.
Pink, you might want to re-read the detachment thread and re-read the thread on boundaries. Step back, detach more and keep your expectations at zero. He is not the man you knew pre-crisis. This is a new man who is different in many ways, just as you are. In order to establish a new relationship w/him, you have to start at the beginning and be friends.
I know you can do this...you just have to have faith in yourself and the man upstairs. Sometimes we have nothing to fear but fear itself...let go, let God drive the bus for a bit.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
