JRuss - perhaps split those two. Work first on becoming a person that you, your W, and your children can respect. I like to feel that even in the darkest hours that my W still respected me - no clue if that was true or not. I'm positive that when she walked out our door that she did though. Friendship may have to wait until you are both ready for it.
Agree with this ^^^^^^.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
