Unfortunately, it needs to all come from then to want to stop it. Like you say, it's probably not even necessarily about the ap- it's about how they make them feel about themselves. If you manage to get rid of om, she'd either hold more resentment towards you for "controlling" her. And there would most likely be another person there to take his place.
It is a hard thing, because I don't really think it makes a blind bit of difference wether we let them know or not. Even if we see evidence, they get so skilled at lying- they will still argue that it's not an affair.
I don't think they do think about the consequences at all. The "we can still live together" was the same BS my wh came out with, I told him that it was impossible we could live like that. He then started to look for places to live. It really hurts that they have no consideration for the effects it will have on us or our children. This is why we have to try our very best to keep moving ahead, so we can protect our children the best that we can. They need a loving parent who is consistent and who can keep it together and protect them, and we are the only ones who can do this. It hurts like hell, I know. I'm 3 months pregnant with a toddler, and my wh thinks it will not bother the children at all. Delusional and hurtful.
Keep looking after you. Hopefully some of the vets will swing by your thread and offer you some more support and advise. I'm rooting for you.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
