I was really struck by your posts in your thread about the unilateral nature of what our Ws are doing. There are in their minds only two ways: stay married and suffer a martyr's life, or D and have hope of something better. But there's a third way. The way I'm pretty sure we promised we'd exhaust fully before blowing up our family. A collaborative effort aimed at resetting a relationship I've fully admitted needing resetting. I've had exactly 0.0 seconds of marriage counseling with this woman. I can't come to grips with the idea I'm going to lose half of my children's remaining childhood, and we won't ever have set foot in a single marriage counselor's office. I realize we're not in a place, right now, where MC would be anything other than a failure that my W would use as validation that there isn't a third way. But there was certainly a time, long before I had any clue she was so unhappy, where we could have done something. It's this kind of stuff that tears at my brain.
Me as well JR. I've stepped through this in my head so many times and it's driven me crazy. My W went so far as to say that maybe if we'd done MC 5 years ago it would have made a difference, but now there's no chance. It blows my mind that she's unwilling to do anything to try to save this.
It goes back to them having the view that they've done all they could. But they don't realize that in reality they've done nothing over the years to try to proactively fix things. As we get more educated in this stuff, we have learned this is very fixable and how to fix it, but they are at a place where there's no way they'd listen to us. It's more than frustrating...
So lost in the fog that they can't see it now. At some point it sounds like the fog clears, but it seems highly variable. I'm like you, and wondering if I can grind through this into perpetuity. I guess no one said this would be fun. Hang in there JR!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
