I am posting an update on my 'emerging from MLC probably' xh.
This is eleven years on. It takes a long time (not necessarily this long), and who he now is very different.
I have no doubt that he had a MLC (I did doubt it at times during the whole process). But he isn't the man he was, and in the words of one of his sons 'he now seems to have a personality disorder'.
He is nicer, wants to have some connection with his family, realises he behaved 'monstrously' (his words), and knows he has lost a lot, but because he hasn't done the work, the issues that sent him into the crash and burn are still unresolved.
I truly do not think I lived with a dysfunctional human being for thirty years, but I could not live with who he is now (and he hasn't asked me to -let's be clear!!)
I suppose what I am saying is that even when the crisis finally subsides they aren't necessarily through with what drove them into it.
Some do work through their issues, no doubt about it, and reconciliation can happen. But the end of the crisis does not seem to mean that they have done.
I do not regret ever, giving this my best shot. I certainly do not want to depress anyone. I have some answers, but I am more than ever convinced that this crisis comes out of deep unresolved issues from their upbringing and has nothiing whatsoever to do with us and their children.
