WH's betrayal is on my mind most of the time. Sometimes I can forget about it for a while (watching a movie, working or painting, looking at beautiful nature, spending time with friends), so I try to stay as busy as I can. When I am falling asleep or waking up, or when I wake up in the middle of the night (which I do a lot), there's very little to block it out.
Every night I complete a Spanish lesson or two on my phone before I read, then I take my sleeping pill and continue to read until I almost fall asleep. Unfortunately, my mind tends to start working on the unresolved issues as soon as I close my eyes to go to sleep. If I do fall asleep, I wake up after about 4 hours and can't fall back asleep for several hours.
Meditating seems to make it worse and causes more vivid nightmares. I'm a little bit at a loss. Actually, I just remembered that journaling seems to be the best thing to do and I need to be much more consistent with it.
I just submitted my college application! Hopefully I will be able to concentrate on the classes once they start and get even more distraction.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
