Trying to Figure Things Out

[Eagle11]

Tonight I managed to get into our phone records and I discovered that my W and the OM are still continuing their texts. They've texted each other 2600 times this month. I looked at past cell phone records and his number never shows up, which means this all started at her Vegas work conference. This makes me so sick.

Here attitude has changed towards me lately. She is much more pleasant around me. She actually talks about things, which made me think her EA/PA was over. I am so stupid! I guess I just want to believe these things but I should have known.

Now I don't know what to do. Part of me just wants to go into her room and wake her up and tell her I know, but I won't do that. I know why she keeps saying she needs a divorce but can't really give me a good reason. It's because of the OM. She has a business trip where she will be with him in 2 weeks and this is killing me right now. I need to go to bed, but I doubt I will sleep. I love this women but I hate her at the same time.

While looking at the phone records I saw that when I took our S6 to Cub Scout registration last Tuesday and she stayed home to watch our S2 she basically started texting the OM as soon as we left. It makes me sick knowing that she is texting him at all but knowing that she is doing it around our children is just too much to take. I am so frustrated.

Sorry about the rant, but this is hard. I need to go to bed and try to get some sleep.