Maybs - Pt3

[maybs]

just journaling -

I have been having a rough week emotionally. It took me a while to figure out what was really bugging me.

It's mostly the fact that so we didn't talk for a few weeks and then my W started contacting me again a few weeks ago. From then up until last weekend I felt like something was really changing for us. We were getting along better in general and when we did have disagreements she was willing to talk about it and work it out with me. She was getting more and more interested in my life. And I managed to remain pretty detached through everything so as to not seem too eager.

But last weekend with that fight between her and our friend I feel like everything has gone back to how it was in the beginning. Yeah, she still talks to me but she doesn't seem interested in my life any longer.

I don't know I know that everyone says they will come closer and pull away over and over again but I just really wasn't ready for her to pull away again.

Now that I've figured out WHY I was upset I am coping much better.

Went for a walk/run earlier to clear my head and get my emotions back in check and I'm feeling better and more positive.

I'm going to try to keep up my GAL and my 180s and I'm going to be better about being dim/dark and only responding during a certain time period unless it is an actual emergency.

I am meeting a new friend tomorrow after work to hang out for the first time and on Tuesday BIL is staying at my house before leaving for a 5 day bike trip and I think SIL and nieces are coming to have dinner with us. I'm excited to see everyone and get to spend a little time with my nieces even if it just is over dinner.