You seem well grounded, C. And that's important when everything else gets thrown at you like it has. That grounding is helpful in that it gives you the basis to heal. As HW mentioned, it takes time to work through the various items that were lobbed over the fence, but it's what makes it possible.
A 50 year old beating a 25 year old in soccer. Barefoot. Impressive!
Just a thought - those conversations with your D are helpful. Not always to you, but they are helpful for the healing. I noticed many times that the conversations were helpful to my son even if they weren't to me. In the end, my goals of raising my children and protecting them as much as I could won out during those conversations. All these years later, my son and I still have them when he brings them up. It seems to help him not be so angry about his mom and husband or the way she treats him.
I consider that an important part for me to play in his life. I recognize that I long ago worked through the items lobbed at my like little emotional grenades, but for him it is ongoing. I chose his mother - he didn't and needs somebody to talk to about it that was there.
Keep at it, Pele!
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
