The seed beneath the bitter snows is me!

[2Times2Many]

KML, thank you for the index card idea. I'll use it!

Esame, your words are very wise, indeed. This whole mess brings on a lot of self-examination and a lot of opportunity to grow and become a better person. I believe that regardless of the outcome, I will come out of this a much better person - one who is more confident, self-assured, self-reliant and knowledgeable about and comfortable with who I am and who I want to be.

It's so funny to me. H keeps talking about finding happiness. I've learned that you can't be happy in life unless you're happy with yourself. I'm very happy with who I've become and continue to become. A very valued gift from this journey.

I saw the business attorney a few days ago and I didn't really get the answers I was looking for. I wanted advice on what steps to take to exit the business and insure that nothing would come back to haunt me.

She started advising me on what I should do to "protect" myself (most of which I've already done). Okay, fine. I get she's trying to look out for my interests. But at this point, I don't think H has any desire to harm me financially and if I did some of things the attorney suggested, it would start WWIII. H would go on the warpath and there would be absolutely no possibility of a civil D. It would get ugly fast.

Right now, he feels guilty and (sorry to say this) I can use that to get him to treat me fairly. I've used the past three years to get myself in a position of not needing money from H but still need to avoid losing what I have in a D settlement. Poking the bear would not be in my best interest at this point.

I'll be moving on to the next attorney on the list or let my D attorney choose a business attorney he's worked with before. That may be the best option.

I've pretty much resolved in my mind that a D will take place and I may be the one to start the process. The thing about the drugs pushed me over the edge, I think.

It truly saddens me to see what H has and is doing to his life. He's lost my family (my kids don't want the vanishing Grandpa around their kids), he's lost his family, he's about to lose his M and I expect the business will be next. Complete self-destruction of everything he worked so hard to build. For what? Parties, booze, drugs and sex. So, so sad.

But enough of that.

I hope everyone is enjoying a wonderful weekend.

2T