This resonates very much with me. My WW only saw these two options and you are right the third one is - to try something different. To use a wise approach of really understanding the issues at hand and dealing with them - working together on them.
However, your wife may have said similar things to mine when you ask her to try "I have tried", "There is nothing more to do" etc. Sadly, the things she has 'said' is her 'trying'. She probably has said everything she can, but tried not so muc, if at all. The only action she is most like have taken to change is to exit. Sad but it seems so common. I do wonder if this is about unconscious bias at times. I.e they might have unconsciously decided to leaves and they then slowly and steadily make their exit?
You letter makes sense. But a couple of points, perhaps she might not care for the bits about you missing the kids as much as them missing you? She might not even care anyway, perhaps she wants what she wants and that is it? Sorry but it's true, I don't think this letter or any letter would work in my Sitch. I hope it does for you of course.
Surfer.
FG, surfer is right. his post above is precisely what I would have said, though done much more eloquently! All of our Ws seem to have convinced themselves they have tried. As we educate ourselves, we see that, no, they haven't even taken the first step towards trying. Unfortunately, we need to remember that while we have been getting smarter about relationships and psychology, they have done no homework. They are still stuck in their black and white world.
Unfortunately, I don't think the letter makes any difference. I'd offer you lock it away and don't send it. There may be a time where it'll be received better, but there's probably no upside to it right now. It [censored], but I think it'll just end up being viewed as you trying to control her which is a negative as we all know.
Hang in there brother!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
