MLC, WAW or WW?? Who really knows? Help...pls

[RosaLinda]

Hi Roe, how is your weekend going? Are you doing anything nice with your kids?

That is a very interesting post from Sandi about wayward wives. I always tend to think people who suddenly announce they no longer love and in fact, never loved, their spouse, get involved in a EA or PA, announce they're tired of "faking it" and now it's time for their happiness, etc, are having a mid life crisis.

I'm not exactly sure what the difference is, or the outcome, really. I used to believe that MLC lasted 3 to 5 years, that's what my old marriage counselor told me, and the reason I stood for 5 years after bomb drop. But my ex has been acting wacky for 9 years now, with no sign of coming out of it.

The thing is, I think, that no matter what our spouse's motivation or reason destroying our MR, our job as the LBS is the same - to work on what is wrong and can be fixed within ourselves, make healthy boundaries to protect ourselves and our kids, and to be the best parents we can be.

It's W that wants out and she must do the dirty work and move out as well as file for the D. That I'm firm on. Our children need to know by our actions "who" abandoned the M and family as we once knew it.

I agree with this wholeheartedly. If she wants a divorce, let her do all the work. Don't move out, or leave your MBR. If she wants to leave, let her. Your children will realize who is the steadfast rock they can depend on. I think it's real important that they learn that by your actions though, as you say, and not by you bad mouthing her.

There is nothing special about me Roe. The folks on DB helped me so much, so I try to help other people but mostly by listening. And I have 2 part time jobs that I love; I work a couple of nights as an emergency room nurse (love that!) And the rest of the time have a small legal practice. Social security disability law. What do you do for a living?