I feel I'm truly starting my journey and think I'm at the right place where I should be now. The last couple of days have been enlightening for me. Had a good conversation with a friend and what we talked about had me thinking. I do believe that if we had had that conversation a few months ago, I'd not have been so receptive about it. I see how my behaviour has pushed H away and understand why he doesn't want to be with me anymore. Though it doesn't excuse his cheating! I also see what H did that forced me to withdraw from him and to put some walls around me. I wish I had known everything I know now as I'd have done things differently ( it will help me with my next relationship!).
Nothing new on H's side, I just hope he is happy. I went on OW's FB page (I know, I know) and saw a picture of her. I don't know what happened but I truly and genuinely felt sorry for her. The second I saw it, I thought she didn't look happy despite her putting up a nice pose. I felt compassion for her, and also I felt proud of myself for feeling this way. Normally people would rejoiced that OW seems unhappy but I wasn't.
I'm getting back to the Rouky I was when I first met H and it feels good. In a way I think H brought the worst out of me, so I could really look at myself and with on me.
I have decided to give dating a break as so far was meeting dodgy people, also because I have a little nagging feeling telling me that I'll carry meeting the wrong person until I have fully resolved my issues. I can't say why but I have this feeling that I'll be alright and that the right person will walk into my life when the time is right. May it be H or someone else, who knows but I know for sure that when I'll meet him I'll be happy, complete and will have a fulfilled life!
At the moment I'm content with more and happy moments popping in and there.
