A WW? (3)

[lt0402]

Hey cheesyt, yeah, my WW is a SAHM and I have struggled with this too. I actually discussed with my IC yesterday. I'm viewing the split of our assets as being fair because I've done my job (financial stability) and she's done hers (SAHM) for the past 10yrs. Those assets are truly "ours". What I have trouble with is funding her trips and the phone she uses to carry on the A. I haven't settled on the response to this yet but my IC says I need to swallow my pride there until we get a S agreement in place. Always appreciate your ro cents cheesyt!

Well, got up early this am, before W and D + friend. Hit the gym and ran. Grabbed a coffee at dunkin donuts, and did an hours worth of yard work. Really enjoying this early morning weekend routine.

Came inside. W had made D and friend pancakes. I shower and then come down to grab breakfast. Extra pancakes are still out, but no clue if W made for me. I grab cereal instead.

W comes downstairs and I tell her I'd like to do two things. Today at 530 I'd like to take D for a short time to a bbq one of my coworkers is having. W says D won't want to do it and it's too hot. Agree to ask D if she wants to.

Also tell W that D and I decided we want to go to a national park near here tomorrow to do Pokemon and find new fishing spots. W says no way, it'll be too hot, can't take a kid with asthma (light asthma) out in that kind of heat. We discuss back and forth for a minute and I tell W one of our issues is that she always says no to things I would like to do with D. W gets angry, says she won't discuss with Ds friend in house.

Ds friend leaves. D sits down for a snack and we hang out while W goes for a run. W gets back and her and I go to the mbr for a talk away from D at her request. W admits she usually says no to things I want to do. It's bc I'm not reliable and neither she nor D trust me. Then she says I'm not helping things by trying to schedule all of Ds time. That in a couple months (that's new) we will be physically seperated. That by pulling D closer to me, I'm going to make it more difficult when that happens. That I'm keeping D from maturing and wanting to hang out with her friends.

W then pulls out some tears and talks about how she's only asked me one time for help in the past 7 yrs. says I called my friends and made a big deal of cancelling my golf round for the day. Also says I forced her to go out to dinner that night even though she felt horrible. I don't remember this. Doesn't mean it didn't happen but I honestly have no clue.

W says that I can't just go from 0 to 60 mph in regards to caring and being there for D. W says that D is telling her it's making her unhappy and she would never tell me that bc she's afraid I won't play with her if she does. Says D still does not trust me. W also says that her and D don't believe that what I'm doing right now will last. Neither of them trust that it will. W says I need to give her a long term plan for all of "this". Same thing she said earlier in the week. I'll let her come up with a plan.

W says instead of going to the park we can all go swimming tomorrow morning. I say that works too. W then says a few times that I can take D by myself if I don't want W to go. I tell her that I'd love for her to come if she wants to. If she doesn't want to come though, then don't come. (She seemed to be looking for me to tell her I didn't want her to come). W gets mad by my answer and stomps off.

Later downstairs W complains about my cologne being too strong. Suggests putting less on. Gets angry about dishwasher rack not pulling out all the way. D says she'd prefer not to go to bbq, so I'm going for a bit then we are doing movie night.

I was proud of myself bc I kept my cool, listened without interrupting, and stood up for myself when necessary, but with few words. Felt good coming out of it. A lot of weird, incomprehensible "logic" from my W. The comments on my D made no sense. The fact she's mad about me being a better dad seems laughable and selfish.

We will see what happens tonight I guess. Really weird, but entertaining from an outsiders perspective I'm sure!