Still alive, still need guidance.

[Zues126]

That's what these forums are good for. When you go through something like this most friends are sympathetic, but their budget for hearing about it is measured in minutes. Meanwhile the grieving process and the aftermath can require hours a day for years. You're right, people that haven't gone through it have no idea what you're going through.

I agree that hope causes pain, and is an obstacle to moving on with your life. I don't know exactly how you let go. For me it was easier because XW crossed so many lines, hurt me so badly, and was so nasty, that it was easier for me to let go. If she had been friendly, flirty, expressed mixed signals, etc, it would've been much harder for me. But I do think you need to move forward and let go, more and more. Detachment isn't a one time action, it is a long process. I remember month 8 or so was when it really took a turn, I still had a lot of anger to work through, but from a sense of hanging on her day to day emotions or moods, that was ALL gone.

Keep posting T.