My Wife Walked Out 5

[CT1118]

As noted in a few other threads, I've tried to maintain a day to day approach. Whether it be w/W, S or work. I'm trying to maximize each day, and also not to freak our or fret about weeks, months or even years into the future. I'm a planner, so it's not easy, but I'm improving.

Catching up my friend. The above is a great statement and very true of me as well. Established we are both introverts long ago. So hard for us not to immediately analyze the present, feel done with it, and then reconnect with the future big picture. Part of why I think you and I are simultaneously great & horrible at this stuff. We read the info, analyze, take what seems logical, then go by logical instinct as it is to us, then analyze results, then go back to hating the fact we are being pushed against our nature to live in the present, then think we are correct, then realize other possibilities are correct, then realize the world exists in the present, then understand we are a minority, then realize we have to double down on ourselves, then stick to swimming up stream as it is what we have to do because the world is not going to relate to an introvert because so few do. Yes? Correct? If not, I have already decided I am correct, but respect your option to disagree - now that is progress!

On the text, I have come to understand that women love text. And I will bite at your question...Not thinking she is bored, not thinking it is for real reaching out. I am not sure if her OM was/is younger or older. But I would guess text played a big role in the A. See text can be done quick. For every text you saw her do, there were three you missed. It is the ultimate weapon in an A IMO. She can text right in front of you and say out loud "my blank (BFF, Dad, Brother, Work, Whomever) is blowing me up; the only way you would know is to check that sht later, i.e. spying. You would notice her walking away to make a phone call. Text used in cheating leaves us all skeptical of that GD cell phone forever.

I will say this. My W has changed her emoji use over time. When she was lying a lot I always got the kiss blow or the heart. Now that I have called her out, I get the smiley on the reg. Like her way of saying "OK, you know I am an Ahole, but I still want in". From my studies, there are entire ebooks written on "how to get your ex back through text" which I think is dumb. But, the entire point of my intro to this post is to admit that I do not keep up w/ the present and the "right now" is exactly where our selfish WW's live; and right now is text. So, my WW has an OM who is 9 years her junior, same age as your WW. I realized that most, if not all her communication w/ him is via text long ago. So, when I do communicate w/ her, and if I can control it, I try very hard to keep it on text. Why? B/c I realized she has learned this vehicle of communication and so should I. Text was/is her vehicle to communicate w/ OM, so I do my best to hijack that vehicle, learn it, and operate it better.

Sounds dumb. I am not yet the paradigm of success here. But, we have to meet the rubber at the road. In hindsight, I wish I went NC from the start, but was 4 months deep in S before I even knew that existed. So now, I feel like some hybrid of this whole spectrum which either is or is not working for me and I never really know. Yet, I do know this...learning how to send and receive text seems important to people in our age range (and I am on the upper end of that range), but text is here and knowing how to use it is helpful; and that goes for another woman in the future or for my current WW who is a nonetheless a master. So, Yeah, I think those shtty little smileys are dumb, they mean something, and they mean nothing, but they are present tense.