I'm having a particularly hard month (just a lot of bad anniversaries, including the one year for my mom). While my job is incredibly fulfilling and I love it there, when I come home its to a house I live in alone. Thank god for my dogs or I'd just live at the hospital.
I feel like I"m back peddling the last few weeks. I was doing well until I got called by the victims advocate people about his hearing date and plea deal. I guess I had shoved him out of my mind enough to have some semblance of moving on but got sucked right back in.
I've had zero contact since april. Haven't seen him since Feb (aside from court). I'm just struggling with how can it be that easy for him to just walk away and for him to truly not care how I'm doing or how his dogs are doing etc. His new life must be something else. (and I know that's 100% mind reading and projection on my part, my DB is rusty).
I'm glad some people in our group got their happy endings or at least are on their way there.
As much as my logical mind is telling me I'm better off, I can't help but still wish I had been one of them.
M:26 H:32 T:8yrs ILYBNILWY/ "I'm not happy": 2/6/16 D-Day-discovered PA/EA: 2/10/16 Separated: 2/14/16 He's living with OW I moved to different state: 06/16 Currently: Trying to move forward
