MLC, WAW or WW?? Who really knows? Help...pls

[RosaLinda]

Of course you can call me Linda that's my name. I used to try to hide my identity from my ex while I was standing, hence RosaLinda, but he was not one of those who spy. Lots of WAS and MLCers do.

I understand your feeling of being consumed with jealousy and bitterness about the OM. Your supposed friend. How awful that his wife cheated on him with his best friend, and then he turned around and did the same thing to you. Ugh. You'd think that he would remember the pain he felt.

I can find an easy argument about any of her complaints however to argue about "her" feelings would be as futile as her minimizing or ridiculing my current feelings. I may not agree with her but I do validate her feelings. It's not about my opinion. If she felt these things then they are valid.

You're a pretty smart guy Roe. Validating our spouses' feelings, no matter how wrong they seem to us, is one of the main stays of DBing.

I just finished doing my day job and now am off to my night job, sigh... I'll try to write more later. But for now, just know that I think you are doing all the right things - validating, listening, not reacting to her taunting. It sounds very much to me as if your wife is having a MLC. My own ex said many of the same things and acted the same way. Unfortunately, unless they snap out of it immediately, MLC can take years and years and years.

All the while her favorite catch phrase... "it's my turn to be happy" or "I'm entitled to finally find my happy"... I'm not trying to be controlling or selfish but I mean... REALLY?? Are you kidding me??

No she isn't kidding you. This is all about her. She is not intentionally hurting you or your kids, you're sort of collateral damage in her search to stop her own pain.

I'll write more later if the ER isn't too busy (Friday night, hmmmm, fat chance LOL) but will definitely READ anything you write, so vent away my friend.

PS Cessna, are you a pilot? Cadet was a pilot in the Air Force!