cheesyt 2

[lovethehub]

Cheesy,

I didn't read your first link because I have been off the pages for a while but I read all 11 of this post. I know it seems counter-intuitive to pull away and not be there when she needs but it is exactly what you need to do. I was the WAS, I had an A and my H tried all of the things that everyone does before they finally pull away. I am here to tell you that nothing worked until I TRULY knew he was gone for good. I had already looked for ways to fix our M but even if I hadn't, I believe it would have worked. When your W texts you that she needs you to call or text right away, DON'T. Wait a while before contacting her. Act like you were busy even if you weren't. I was the WAS but it wasn't until I realized my H was gone for good and I did what I read on this site about GAL, being mysterious, etc... that our M even had a chance. We reconciled 3 or 4 years ago and we are still doing great. My goal is to payback to this site what I received but I have been in Nursing School and just couldn't get on very often. You really can reconcile, even with a spouse who is DONE.

I was done. When my S found out I was having an A and wanted to "work things out" "go to MC', etc, I was so MAD. I had tried for years and he had no interest. Then, when I finally felt happy he wanted to TRY? Oh no,I didn't want any part of it. Any S who thinks they had 'no part' in S wanting a D or having an A is wrong, I guarantee it. I know I saw on a page where you had 'done this and done that' to keep her happy but I will be shocked if somewhere along the line (more likely many, many times) she didn't tell you what she needed to be happy in your R.

I am not here to beat you up, I am here to tell you not to give up but to follow the advice you found in DR even when it seems wrong.