Today isn't a good day, I'm questioning my own actions again and doubting myself. H decided to come home on time today and even decided he would sit and eat with us. I said hello to him, but I couldn't muster any polite chat, not even neighbourly. I couldn't manage a how was your day, I felt I'd be a fraud. I know things are bleak looking, but I still would like to keep my family together and know that I need to "act as if". But I just couldn't quite muster up that act. Just so tired and feeling so lame that I just didn't quite feel as though I had the energy to try today.

This is not easy.

Me 26 H 25
M 4
T 5
Baby born 4/14
BD: 1/15
EA: 2/15
PA: 4/15
reconciling: 4/15
ILYBINILWY- 11/15
ILY-1/16
ILYBNILWY 4/16
ILY 6/16
ILYBINILWY 6/16
Baby due 3/17
BD 8/16