My biggest worry in all this is approximately $6k is going to be forked over by my parents for this whole Sh*tshow...2k for attorney and $4k to buy her out of the house.
if we R - then my parents are going to have so much animosity for her...
I guess maybe one of the conditions would be to pay back the $4k before she came home and if she didn't want to, then I guess it didn't mean that much to her in the first place.
I guess maybe one of the conditions would be to pay back the $4k before she came home and if she didn't want to, then I guess it didn't mean that much to her in the first place.
And please understand that I am not throwing a 2x4 at you. When that happens, you will know....: )
I'm just a little blunt, to the point, and I want YOU to think more than I want to give you the answers....
If you have questions, please ask them, and I will get back when I have more time...
I think that you are in a lot of emotional pain, as to be expected...
I think that you are way too focused on what she is doing TO you...
I think that you need to slow down (and I know how freakin hard that is), and really focus on yourself, and what YOU need to look at...
I think that you also need to realize, that right now is NOT a good time for you to be making any decisions about your life.
And that right now, you have very little grip on who you are as a person, let alone who you are within the confines of a relationship. That may have been different a few months ago, but by the sounds of how you argue with her, I don't think that is true...
I think that you should try and understand that she isn't doing anything TO you, she is doing this FOR herself...and that nothing that she does right now, has very little intent to directly hurt you....
I think that you should understand that her anger is her fuel to push away from you, and the angrier that she gets, the harder that she FEELS that she has to push....Kind of like the space shuttle...Once it is cruising, it drops the external fuel tanks....
I think that there are YEARS of issues that she needs to deal with inside of her own head....
And that maybe, just maybe, this has little to do with you. Okay, well, a little to do with you. Please understand that YOU have things to work on too, and you will eventually have to own your responsibility in the breakdown of the relationship...
I think that you need to prepare yourself for a long journey. And I didn't say it isn't worthwhile, because it is....One that will change your life....FOR THE BETTER...
There are no guarantees with any of this. Except for that YOU will become a person that makes better choices and decisions.
Yet also, one that will have better tools for the next relationship that you are in, which, COULD VERY WELL BE WITH YOUR CURRENT SPOUSE...
You will have days that you want to walk away...
You will have days that you will want to scream at the heavens for this to end...
And then, one by one, you will start having days where you start to understand that this is a process, one for her, yet also one that YOU get to go through as well....
And then there will be days, when you are thankful that YOU GET TO DO THIS....
You will be thankful that you were picked for this...
Please take care of yourself too....that is essential through this....
Well for instance, she wants me to keep her dog (she pays food and meds) because she couldn't find a place that will accept an 80lb pitbull mix. I agreed as long as she agreed to house sit while I was out of town with the kids (I have chickens, cats, dogs, rabbit....and I'm adding goats and meat rabbits in a few months.)
I worry that after a while, I will become overly hopeful that she would come back and end up agreeing to things that would set me back in my self-improvement goals.
